Song-When The World Feels Small

All littleuniverses music, EPs, Music collaboration, Wanderlust (EP)

When The World Feels Small-the song

When the World Feels Small (WTWFS) is a song on the upcoming EP that I have written lyrics to and perform on. Just like Wanderlust, it also has an acoustic piano version. When Paul composed the music for WTWFS he told me it was meant to send listeners down a path of tears and disappointment. In his words, he told me:

“This track is heavily influenced on our fear of abandonment coming into fruition, where everyone in our life leaves us, and we are feeling alone. Where there was once vibrant colour in our world, it is only filled with a grim black and white. Our biggest dreams are just that…dreams, not reality, and painfully coming to terms with that. The middle section is huge and epic for a reason, we are pushing ourselves to move forward and be strong, but as soon as those strings come back in for the final act, we once again realize how alone we are, crying ourselves to sleep, with uncertainty that things will get better, or if there will be anyone and anything else to lift us up”.

I used his explanation of WTWFS as my inspiration for the lyrics and similarly to Wanderlust, I wrote lyrics with double entendre that had elements of fantasy but also had the ability to be perceived in different ways depending on the listener. My intention was for the listener to be able to shape the meaning of the verses to their respective life experiences in the same way that poems can take on new meaning with the passing of time. I wanted this transformation to occur within WTWFS. Its lyrics elaborate on the themes in Paul’s quote above.

LYRICS -WHEN THE WORLD FEELS SMALL-

Does time forgive
When it’s not our time to give us
Now there’s no turning back
I put my hand in the fire
I signed away in blood
I gave my heart with a spire
Now we sit in our corners
Seeking a vision to believe
We’ve got our lives to live
My place in yours but a myth
As are my dreams
As are my dreams
So many parts of me leave with you
Which one will you keep 
I saw the colours in full bloom
But now time has taken them away to

When the world feels small
When the world feels small

WTWFS drops June 4th on all digital platforms.

Song-Wanderlust

All littleuniverses music, EPs, Music collaboration, Wanderlust (EP)

Wanderlust-the song

In my previous blog post Collaboration-Wanderlust EP I mentioned that I would write more about my process for the upcoming EP and so I thought to start with its title track Wanderlust.

When Paul told me in February 2021 that he had almost finished composing the music for the EP I wasn’t entirely sure what I was getting myself into. In fact, when he emailed me the WIP orchestral version of Wanderlust (there are two versions of the title track on the EP), I registered all that it was with great surprise because it was orchestral and had a choir. I didn’t expect this, especially seeing how the music I write is more indie rock-Ish, but it didn’t faze me either, I found it rather inspiring.

Wanderlust came across to me as a piece that unlocked “chambers” in the mind as it progressed. Its beauty and complexity unraveled a series of emotions in me. I loved that about it. At this point in the process, its language was communicated through its instrumentation, digital choir and a vowel driven vocal passage that Paul created with the use of a vocal library.

I spoke to Paul shortly after listening to make sure I fully understood his vision. He told me that Wanderlust unravels an adventure prompted by feelings of being trapped and using our imagination for brief escapism before finally returning to the no-so-exciting day-today reality we all face. We concluded our conversation when he told me to write/interpret lyrics as I see fit and basically perform what I felt would be best suited for the piece. This carte blanche turned out to be quite a memorable adventure for me.

Wanderlust was unlike any song I had ever sung before and wrote lyrics to. It contained a choir, a vowel driven agile vocal passage that I felt was reminiscent of spell sung by a mystical princess and a musical structure dense with orchestral arrangement of piano, violins, horns, drums, ethnic flutes as well as digital sounds. With Wanderlust I needed to break down and interpret the vocal passages that existed and create new lyric driven ones that stayed true to both our styles. I wanted to compliment and amplify what was there to encourage the epic journey behind the song. Lyrically I needed to find a balance of vocals and lyrics that prevented the song from sounding like a rock opera or a musical theatre piece which was not our intention at all.

I wrote the following lyrics.

LYRICS -WANDERLUST-

Need to see
Need to be
Beyond what's in front of me
Beyond

Solis Contingunt, Ultra

Now I can feel euphoria
Above the horizon
I can touch the sun

Staring at my ceiling
Used my ticket to the sky
My wings touched the sun

I thought these lyrics put words to the story behind the music and allowed for a multitude of interpretations all depending on the listener. I found euphoria as a concept to be on point. Its symbolism, the infinite means that can be taken to attain it and the journey into achieving its sensation can be related to wanderlust. I especially felt this concept worked seeing how the music was written with the intention of telling a story that unravels adventure prompted by feelings of being trapped and using imagination for escapism before returning to “reality”.

I wrote in the Latin verse Solis Contingunt, Ultra because I thought it would add depth to the vowels sounds that Paul handed over to me.

I don’t speak Latin, I simply typed in “Touch the Sun” and “Beyond” in Google translate and there it was.

Paul was into the idea and from that point I created the vocal passages/splits of the entire SATB choir and sung them all in my little home studio closet (44 + tracks of me). I knew that harmonizing with concrete words would allow for a tighter more powerful choir. I took on the vocal arrangements for Wanderlust over a period of several days as each one required a particular singing style and mood.

There are two versions of the title track Wanderlust on the EP. There is the orchestral/choir version and a very soulful/dreamy/intimate acoustic piano version. The acoustic version to me is like laying on freshly cut grass on a beautiful summer day and watching a few clouds pass in the blue sky. It makes me want to “go higher” to find outwardly beauty all the while taking in the “simple things”. In the case of the acoustic version, the simple things being voice/piano/harmony. That is the best way that I can describe the piano version of Wanderlust. Both versions seek experience beyond reality through fantasy, but each has a distinct approach in its method.

Listening to all that we created for the music and how it came together is quite thrilling. The incredible music Paul had written really inspired me to push my boundaries and create/interpret some of the most technically challenging music I ever had to do. There were moments where I sat in my tiny dark, low oxygen closet (aka my quarantine recording home studio) where I even cried a bit because I wondered if I could successfully add my vision to the music. I felt the fear of the failure and persevered. As much as there is so much fantasy in this music, I believe the quest for reaching higher ground is one that is ever evolving in us all.

I look forward to sharing this music with you on June 4th .

Collaboration-Wanderlust EP

All littleuniverses music, EPs, Music collaboration, Wanderlust (EP)

With the release of Wanderlust (a four track, plus two bonus track cinematic EP) approaching, I thought to shed some light on how this collaborative project between Paul Zambrano and myself came to be and why I was interested in performing and writing lyrics for such a cinematic music project.

It all started in September 2020 when I was scrolling IG and came across a post advertising Paul’s instrumental album Death is Beautiful. I remember finding the title combined with the dramatic music very intriguing because of the strong associations and contrasts of words “death” and “beautiful” in the title. I figured there must be a psychological/literary explanation behind the title. I liked that as a concept so I clicked and followed Paul’s profile.

Soon after Paul DM’d me and wrote that he liked my single Back to Life and we started chatting. About a week later I released my black metal song Judgment and Paul his album Death is Beautiful. Come October 2020 we both understood that we shared a dark artistry when writing music.

Then one evening, I can’t pinpoint when due to the murkiness of time passing in 2020, Paul DM’d me while I was recording some harmonies in my home studio and asked me if I would be interested in working on a cinematic style EP in 2021. I had never worked on this type of project before even if my own music is found to be quite cinematic. But what can I say, I like to experience the realm of human emotions through my music and it is my ultimate joy to be able to tap into feelings and “little universes”. I sensed this project would really allow for that. Hence, I was up for it and looked forward to what was in store.

To conclude this brief introduction, the symbolism behind Paul’s instrumental album that so intrigued me in September was just as I thought: complex, dark and thought provoking. I believe that our collaborative EP Wanderlust possesses these same qualifiers but in the same way a phoenix rises from the ashes: I let my vocals really soar to new heights for these songs as the music lends itself for such interpretation.

I also reached a place that felt so raw and disheartening through my connection to the music. It was a wild ride to say the least especially since all of my recordings took place on the floor of my tiny closet. I’m 5’11 so basically living in an apartment and singing passionately into a microphone without disturbing the peace happens in this little place. I did the same for most of Corners. Sometimes my legs fall asleep for all the sitting on my feet and contortion. A form of artistic athleticism where I feel I am reaching gold standard in endurance 😉

I will be writing more about its songs and the process in the upcoming weeks.

Wanderlust streams on all digital platforms June 4th 2021.

To find out more about Paul and his music you can click the following links:

-Paul’s Website

-Article on Death is Beautiful

Song-Before it Begins

All littleuniverses music, Corners (EP), EPs, Music

It's not over before it begins.....

These words are part of the chorus of my song Before it Begins, a song about not giving up before even getting started.

I completed Before it Begins after being forced to stop singing for a month because I had developed a cyst in my throat from coughing when my neighbor’s apartment burnt down (everyone was OK thankfully and the firemen made it on time! ). When the cyst in my throat healed, I felt extra grateful for all the good things in my life and even added in a little guitar solo to the song.

This song has a very stripped production, it features me and my electro acoustic guitar performing in my apartment. When I completed recording it, I started to daydream about Neil Young’s beautiful performance of Tell Me Why Live At Massey Hall in 1971. I loved how that song was just him and his guitar. It is one of the reasons why I just wanted this song to be so stripped down.

Before it Begins is the last song on Corners and I wrote it as a bilingual song (part French and part English) symbolically as a reminder to not give up on pursuing my dreams while being stuck in my Montreal apartment in 2020.

Song-Getting By

All littleuniverses music, Corners (EP), EPs, Music

Getting By

Getting By is a song that describes a situation where you start off smiling and then you start to feel awful. I wrote it in March 2020 and it’s the first song on the Corners. The song’s a little upbeat, a little sad and truly got me thinking about being in absence of things.

Picture you are very happy to run into someone you haven’t seen in a long time after being isolated in the cold winter and then start up a conversation with this person. Then the person starts to tell you things that go from “great” to “not ideal”.

Getting By is happy, a little sad with a kind of “keep on keeping on/getting by and doing OK all things considered” vibe. You can read its lyrics below.

LYRICS -GETTING BY-

Getting by
Getting by
Where have you been
Haven’t seen your face in a while
My friend can I still call you that
It’s been some time
Getting by
Getting by
Heard you were in a relationship
Did she tie you down 
Like a sunken ship
The bottle and the cap won’t fit
Did you try try try
And nothing would come of it
Getting by
We’re getting by
You always wanted a castle
Now you live in a cage
You always wanted to buy a diamond
Now a tattoo with one letter is sufficient
We’re getting by
We’re getting by
Now that you’re here
Will I ever see you again
Life has its ways
So farewell capitaine
Until the next time
We’re getting by
We’re getting by
Getting by

Song-Broken Dreams

All littleuniverses music, Corners (EP), EPs, Music

These dreams are broken, they don't make sense anymore...

are the first lines of my song Broken Dreams which is the third song on Corners. I decided on the order of the songs from the sequence in which they were created. Broken Dreams is also the first song I wrote using my newly acquired Canyon delay guitar pedal.

This song is written in freeform and has an epic/cinematic feeling. I wrote it one Thursday night after a long telephone conversation with my best friend. When we ended our call, I really felt the void of silence and darkness in my apartment. It was that feeling mixed with the topics of our conversation that made me think of David Lynch’s opening scene in Mulholland Drive and its long dark meandering road. I somehow felt overwhelmed with ideas and the lyrics and melody came to me in one giant wave. I think indirectly Prince’s song The Beautiful Ones mixed with Pink Floyd’s The Great Gig In The Sky had an influence on this song too. I listened to both those songs quite frequently at the start of the quarantine.

Song-Isolation

All littleuniverses music, Corners (EP), EPs, Music

ISOLATION the song

Isolation is the first release off my upcoming EP Corners. It’s a song that explores the unraveling mental state of being subject to loneliness in isolation.

LYRICS -Isolation-

I heard a knocking late at night
Got out of bed turned on the lights to see
I am afraid of me
I heard a voice calling my name
Swear it was yours but once again I was wrong
No one there but me
Wash until it bleeds
Blackout just to sleep
Cry to become numb
Numb to later feel
Feel just to be
Not afraid of us
Afraid to self-destruct
They come and go
Go as they please
Obsessions over what we cannot see
I am afraid of me
Reintroduce me to this life
I won’t harm but I’m holding a knife
I am afraid of me
And if I die alone
With no mouths to feed
I’ll still feel the warmth
Of my computer screen
Feeling to self-destruct
I fear to self-destruct
But there’s just one thing
To wash it off
Come close to me
Right before you left
Had no bruises on my knees
It was the sound of your breath
Echoing

When I wrote Isolation I was quite deep into Haruki Murakami’s IQ84 and at that same time decided to explore as much news as possible on how the coronavirus effected society. What I discovered was all quite alarming, thought provoking and heartbreaking. I also remember reading this one article where news reporters wrote about how difficult it was for people to date during this quarantine. When I finished reading that article the song idea for Isolation came to me. I think something about that article mixed with the Sci Fi love story within IQ84 and my own personal situation inspired Isolation.

Isolation’s video will premiere on my YouTube channel, Apple music and SoundCloud on November 20th.

Corners will drop on December 4th.

EP Corners

All littleuniverses music, Corners (EP), EPs, Music

What is "Corners" exactly…

In a few words Corners is my first EP. Its songs are a synthesis of loneliness, desire, happiness, loss, sadness and hope in 2020. In January 2020, my plan for the year was to write and release an album or a 6 song EP of my latest music. I felt I started off 2020 on the right foot and was performing new songs in local Montreal bars but then came the first COVID-19 quarantine…

I can’t say that I despise solitude. In order to create I am alone most of the time. In fact, before the quarantine lockdown, I used to dream about leaving Montreal to write music and possibly an anthology of short stories. This dream involved isolating myself somewhere along a Scandinavian archipelago to create something of genius (life dream). I thought first and foremost about escaping to Sweden because I have long admired the depth of late film director Ingmar Bergman and the way he was able to display the complexity of human emotion in his films. I somehow always think of both him and Nick Cave when I write anything that I am proud of.

During the month of March I wrote the first song of the EP called Getting By. It was a little upbeat, a little sad and truly got me thinking about being in absence of things. March was also that same time where I started to record for some of the collaborations released this year that I wrote about in my other blog posts. However, come April 2020 and deepening myself into extreme periods of “non-social/ non-human contact” I began to look deeper into myself and thought that it would be interesting to write music about this “exploration”. Now I wonder if I need to make that trip to Sweden as I see loneliness and seclusion differently after this personal experiment.

From April onward, I put my New Year’s plan of a full-length album into question because I wanted to write music that was entirely composed during the COVID-19 quarantine. I wanted to see what I could do in my apartment, how I could do it and in a sense push myself to places in my mind I could only go from spending what is possibly an “unhealthy” amount of time alone for me. I knew I had to make use of the instruments that I have in my apartment (guitar and keyboard) so I purchased a guitar pedal that I felt could help me better communicate musically a certain state in which I felt at times. The song Broken Dreams on Corners uses this pedal and has an organ like effect.

So that is what Corners is. It is a sort of exploration while being isolated within the 4 corners of my apartment for reasons of quarantine and creation. Musically each song holds its unique atmosphere which is a representation of my state of mind. It also explains why the EP cover looks the way that it does as it visually conveys the emotional states/personas of myself writing each song. All images on the cover were also shot in my apartment by Alex Kasyan and I filmed myself for Isolation’s music video (YouTube November 20th) on my iPhone in my home studio.

There are 4 songs on Corners: Getting By, Isolation, Broken Dreams and Before it Begins. I chose 4 because there are four corners in the little room in my apartment that I like to call my home studio and the place in which I wrote, composed, recorded and dreamt up this EP.

I worked once again with producers Zach Ezickson and Scott Jacoby at Eusonia studios but this time remotely via video call. Many thanks to Scott and Zach for helping me better communicate my vision and for embracing my at times eccentric writing style.

The first release Isolation, will premiere on YouTube, Apple Music and Soundcloud on Friday November 20th.

Corners will be released on all platforms December 4th and a CD will be available for purchase on my recent Bandcamp page.

I look forward to having you hear this EP.

littleuniverses

New music: Judgment Lyrics

All littleuniverses music, Music collaboration, Single

Judgment is a Black Metal duet between Zeke (frontman of Adorn16) and me. It is a song about playing with death for pleasure. It tells a tale about an insatiable need for thrills by living on the razor’s edge and pushing to a point of no return where souls rise to salvation or are judged to damnation.

At the early stage of our collaboration, when Adorn16 sent me the guitar stems for Judgment I felt inspired to create a song with a theme of pushing life to the edge. As a metal fan, I wanted to add to the dark atmosphere of the music with lyrics that create full immersion into a point of no return. I felt an interesting way to do so would also involve splitting the vocals seeing how Zeke’s are basically the opposite of mine. I liked the idea of this contrast as it plays with “dark and light”.

I constantly like to test my boundaries and believe that many of us do the same in our everyday. There is a particular thrill that arises from surpassing limitations that could be self inflicted, imposed upon us or simply just doing something new for the love of experiencing an adrenaline rush. Pleasure and pain. With this song I brought forth some of that essence except Judgment plays with what is supernatural. It explores a downward spiral of an addiction to getting a rush until a point of no return is reached.

What truly awaits at this place where human mortality and its limitations are confirmed? Can we live on the razor’s edge forever and expect to step into the light, or exist in a place of eternal horror?

Which brings me to share this interesting fact about Adorn16; Zeke has an excellent YouTube Channel where he not only talks about the metal scene in Azerbaijan but also features some great horror films.

Nuff said: below are the lyrics to song. It comes out Friday September 18th on Spotify, Apple, Soundcloud, Deezer etc.. or just come back to my site, I will have all links on my music page.

JUDGMENT LYRICS

In covenant
Create pain
Bow down to meet your maker
Bow down to meet your maker

Walk the line
Follow it will take you
Walk the line
Take you to salvation
Play the pawn
Rest amongst the thorns
Will you survive

There is one bullet in the chamber
To give, To gain, To take away
In the light we are born
In the darkness we play to die

The path selected is the game
Roll with the wicked
Play the turn
Led by the demons

That you can no longer escape

Hang on tight
You’re in it for the ride
Aren’t you
Hang on tight
You’re in it for the ride
Aren’t you, aren’t you

Is this all there is?

Bow down to meet your maker
Bow down to meet your maker

Walk
Take me to salvation

For more information about Adorn16 click the links below: